Excerpt: Magical Midlife Awakening

Chapter 1 – Jessie

“Edgar, I get what you’re saying,” I attempted to explain patiently, “but we cannot have violent attack flowers hidden within the wood. We have hikers that accidentally come through here.”

“We wouldn’t have hikers for very much longer.”

I stared at him.

He stared back at me, blinking far less than I was.

My patience waned. “We can’t randomly kill hikers, Edgar. We have to share this town with non-magical people. Murder is against the Dick laws, remember? And it’s morally bankrupt. I know we’ve dabbled in a lot of gray areas when dealing with the mages—”

“I wouldn’t call torturing and then killing the enemy for information morally gray so much as mostly heinous…” He put up a finger. “And that is okay, because they are the enemy. Much like trespassing hikers.”

“No…”

I took a deep breath and counted to ten. There were some things I was not overly proud of having done in this new magical life, and most of them stemmed from the questionable practices of mages.

Nessa and Sebastian, experts in the dirty underground of the magical world, Niamh, and the newest installment of our antihero squad, Tristan, had all assured me these acts had been necessary. Expected, even. The mage world was ruled by despicable sorts, and our enemy, Momar, sat at the top of that pile. People like him and the Mages’ Guild were squeezing out or outright killing anyone with an intact moral compass. That was something Austin and I wanted to fix, but until we could take the high road…we were reduced to arguing about killing hikers with violent magical attack flowers, apparently.

“Just…no, Edgar. If you must have the flowers, at least ensure they have no poisonous thorns. Scratching and scaring, sure. An angry flower behind a ‘beware’ sign, great. But a killing flower that looks like an innocent sunflower until it is literally gouging a lost hiker? No. No! You must see the logic there.”

He heaved a sigh and bowed in defeat. “Okay, Jessie. I guess I’ll pretend to see the logic, since you are making me feel guilty about not seeing it. But I’d like to go on recording history by saying that I think this is a mistake and these flowers could also work against the corrupt mages sneaking on the property to check you out…”

His brows lifted slowly. It kinda looked like they were attached to the corners of his mouth, because his hopeful smile was slowly spreading.

“No attack flowers!” I yelled at him, my usually calm and patient demeanor exploding into frustrated anger.

I tried to breathe. To calm down.

Instead, I yelled louder, “Solve the gnome problem! That’s what we need. A gnome-killing flower—”

“But Jessie, as I explained—”

“Solve the gnome problem!” I hollered at him.

He spun and burst into his insect cloud, zipping away.

I stared after him, perspiration coating my forehead. Immediately I felt guilty, knowing he was just trying to help. We were all trying to find a new normal.

It had been months since the big battle at Kingsley’s. Since my team had devastated Momar’s, even with his impressive display of magic.

Since we’d lost Nathanial, and I’d almost followed him into the grave.

The loss had affected everyone differently, and to be honest, I was having a hard time consoling everyone through their grief. The guilt I felt had a constant hold on me, even in my nightmares. I’d try to change the outcome, try to dislodge Nathanial from my body as we hurtled toward the magical barrier that would kill him. But nothing made a difference.

Nothing could change the fact that he’d given up his life to save mine.

Without him, I wouldn’t have made it. I wouldn’t have taken out those mages and destroyed their spell. Without him, we would’ve all died.

Austin hadn’t been sleeping well, either. He constantly woke up, clutching for me, dreaming I hadn’t come back from the brink. That I was one of the people he’d helped bury.

I ran my hand down my face and turned, startling when I caught Niamh standing not far away. She wore black pants and shirt with a neutral expression, patiently waiting for me to notice her.

“How long have you been there?” I asked, checking to make sure I had clothes on.

That was another little trait I’d picked up—I just randomly worried I was naked. It was like I’d stopped remembering when I’d last bothered with clothes. We were going to my parents’ for Christmas in a week, and I needed to keep things in check. I would not end up like my father, wandering around the house with his begonias hanging out.

“Long enough to wonder if we should have left that vampire behind at Kingsley’s.”

“Yeah, right.” I huffed, starting toward the house and a meeting with Tristan I was probably late for. I did, in fact, have clothes on, so that was something. “He gave us a pass with the gnome situation even though they turned feral relatively quickly. There was no way he would consent to keeping Edgar.”

“Especially now that Aurora has refused Kingsley’s final ultimatum about going home.”

I groaned, reaching the back door and pushing my way in.

Before taking off without another word, Nessa and Sebastian had arranged a little surprise for us. They’d helped Aurora, Kingsley’s daughter, stow away with the basajaunak on the way back to O’Briens. She’d taken up residence at Sebastian and Nessa’s abandoned house. Kingsley hadn’t known any of this until he’d found her “goodbye, don’t worry about me” letter, which had been before we even found out.

Commence his worrying.

“What was the latest ultimatum?” I asked, passing by Mimi at her desk and knocking on the nearest wall in hello. We didn’t waste words when we didn’t have to.

“He cut her off.”

Mr. Tom wasn’t in the kitchen, so I pulled open the fridge door and stared at the contents for a moment. Then shut it. The interior looked like a grocery store had thrown up in there. I wasn’t hungry enough to bother figuring out lunch.

“Cut her off from communication?” I frowned at Niamh as I headed for the hallway again. “That seems a little harsh. What if she wants to go back?”

“He’s desperate fer her to go back. No, he cut her off from the money teat.”

“Gross. So she’s broke?”

“Are ye jokin’?” Niamh gave me a side-eye. “She’s got plenty to be gettin’ on with around here. No rent to speak of, and she’s gettin’ a nice little income from the pack. She’s moving up in the ranks faster than anyone can believe. She’s got a lot of drive and a good head on her shoulders. No, she’ll be just fine.”

“Kingsley’s going to appeal to Austin next,” I said, knowing how these things went.

I approached the bottom of the stairs as Ulric was coming down. He hopped off the last step and then put out his arms for a hug. I complied, as I always did, closing my eyes when he held me tightly and rocked me a little. He’d been doing that often since we’d come back from Kingsley’s, silently offering his support or needing some of mine.

When he stepped back, he pointed at me. “We’re not inviting my mom to Christmas, right?”

“Oh…” I let out a breath. “Um…sorry, Ulric, I thought you knew. Austin and I will be going to my parents’ house for Christmas. We’ll be meeting my ex and his new woman and doing holiday parties and all that. You guys will all be staying here. But you can have her here, if you want? Mr. Tom was intending to make a big dinner and all that stuff.”

He gave me a strange look. “No, then. Okay.” He headed past me.

“I can’t imagine she’ll be overly pleased about that,” I murmured, pausing to watch his wings swing as he walked away.

“She’ll be grand.”

“Did you need something?” I asked as I headed for the front sitting room. Niamh didn’t give or need subtle support like Ulric and a few of the others. She usually just forced me onto a barstool and helped me make bad decisions.

“Not a thing. Just passin’ the time, is all,” she said, following me in.

Tristan sat on one of the couches with a book in hand and his ankle resting on his knee. An empty coffee mug sat on a coaster. A little froth and whipped cream clung to the sides of the mug. He liked to challenge Mr. Tom’s coffee-making prowess.

“Hey,” I said, taking a seat facing him.

He held up a finger, continuing to read, before picking up a bookmark from beside him and fitting it into the pages. He set the book on the coffee table before standing.

“Oh.” I stood with him. He’d wanted to see me about something. I now wondered if this would be a walk-about situation like with Edgar. I had high hopes that this meeting wouldn’t be nearly as annoying.

He stopped in front of me and bent to wrap his arms around my shoulders, holding me tightly before letting me go again, only to hold on to my upper arms and look down into my eyes.

“How are you?” he asked, his gaze searching.

“She’d probably do better if people would stop pandering to her,” Niamh grumbled, heading to one of the couches in the back.

Her surliness didn’t stop a wave of emotion from filling me. My lower lip started to tremble.

Tristan nodded, pulling me in tightly again, hugging me for a long moment as I got myself back under control. They’d stopped telling me that it hadn’t been my fault, or asking if there was anything they could do. It wasn’t logic I needed, or some magical recipe to forget, especially since I didn’t want to forget. I just wanted it to get a little easier.

When he finally released me, he regained his seat, watching me silently.

“I’m fine,” I said, wiping my eyes and then grabbing a tissue to take care of my nose. “What do you need?”

“Two things. The first is that I’d like to work the basajaunak into the gargoyle flight training, but I need you connecting us all so we can be spatially cognizant of each other.”

“My, my. Spatially cognizant, huh?” Niamh drawled. “They must’ve had schools in yer previous life.”

Tristan’s roots were still a mystery. Or maybe Niamh knew everything, and she was just poking fun—I didn’t know. I’d asked to be left out of any discoveries about his past. Plausible deniability was just fine for my current mental situation. I didn’t want to accidentally out the guy, and right now, I couldn’t even remember if I had clothes on half the time.

“Timing is going to be a little tough,” I said, reaching for my phone in my back pocket. It wasn’t there. “Dang it,” I muttered, wondering where I might’ve set it down. “I’m leaving in a week, remember, and I have a list of things I need to do before I go. I’m sure I can squeeze it in, though. I just need to find my phone and then pull up my schedule so I can figure it out.”

“Of course. The second is that—”

A ringing phone growing in volume pulled my attention, because it was my ringtone. Jasper walked into the room a moment later, just as the ringing stopped. He held the phone out to me while nodding hello to Tristan.

“Found this in my bathroom,” he said. “The caller tried twice.”

“In your bathroom?” I asked.

“Yeah. What would I be doing in yours?”

“Well, what was I doing in—” The truth dawned on me, and I nodded. “Delivering towels, that’s right. Mr. Tom has been absent on and off all day running errands.”

“You don’t need to deliver my towels, Jessie. I know where the laundry room is.” He gave me a side-hug. “But I appreciate it.”

My phone started ringing again, and I tilted it up, seeing my ex-husband’s name.

“Tristan, do you mind if I—”

“Not at all.” He leaned forward for his book.

I swiped my finger across the screen.

“Hello?” I asked, crossing over into the seldom-used sitting room across the way for a little privacy.

“Jacinta,” came Matt’s stuffy, arrogant voice. “Yes, hello.”

“Hi, Matt, what’s up?”

“Jacinta, I had thought we were on the same page about the holiday plans. I don’t like hearing that they’ve been changed at a moment’s notice. Now, Jim—”

“Whoa, whoa.” I squeezed my eyes shut and waved my hand through the air, trying to make sense of him but having a hard time not being incredibly irritated by his tone. “What are you talking about? I haven’t changed any plans.”

He paused for a long moment. “I was hoping to have a reasonable discussion with you, not be interrupted and barked at.”

My hand tightened on the phone, but I paced a little, counting to ten.

“I apologize,” I said in an even tone. “But I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t changed any plans.”

“Jimmy was supposed to fly into LAX in three days, whereupon Camila would’ve picked him up, and we would’ve all seen you for—”

“Camila would’ve picked him up?” I asked, standing in front of a little table by the window. “He was excited for you to do it.”

His pause stretched again, and I didn’t have enough numbers to count to calm the irritation.

“Matt, look, I’m in the middle of something. Could you put in a new battery or something and get the words out a little faster?”

After another pause, I pulled the phone away from my face to make sure he hadn’t hung up. That was a usual occurrence when he thought I was being “difficult.” I was sure this was one of those occasions. He hated when I interrupted him for any reason, especially if it was to argue.

“Not that it is any of your business, but I have a meeting scheduled,” Matt finally said, his tone highly disapproving. “I planned to see him right after work.”

“Not any of my business? He’s my son, Matt, and it breaks my heart when you hurt him. He was looking forward to your making the effort. You never used to when he was younger, and he thought it meant you—”

“Jacinta, I didn’t call you to get into my work schedule,” he said tersely. “Camila is no longer working and has the time to devote to this. I do not. I do not want to speak of this any longer.”

I threw up my hand. “Great, fine, whatever. You do you, bro. But you called me about a supposed change in plans, and so far, you don’t want to talk about the only change that I know of.”

His words came slowly, as though he were talking to someone hard of thinking.

“Jimmy was supposed to come here, and you were to meet us for dinner at my house, not the other way around.”

“And that’s what’s still happening. I’ll see you on the twentieth. Or twenty-first, or whatever it is.”

“Christ,” he said, pulling the phone away. That meant he was very frustrated with me.

“I have the date somewhere. Calm down,” I said, rubbing my palm against my forehead. “It’s in my phone, which is next to my head. It’s fine. We’ll be there. All is well. No change in plans…”

The Porsche that Gerard the gargoyle had given me pulled up to the curb. Mr. Tom almost never drove it because it went too fast when he stomped on the gas. He couldn’t be talked into not stomping on the gas. I hadn’t understood why he’d wanted to take it today, but the answer to that question stepped out of the passenger seat. He had a look of wonder on his face and his hair was badly in need of a wash. His clothes were a little too small, rumpled, and probably sporting stains. His face turned toward the house, and through the window I saw his beaming smile.

“Oh,” I said, my heart lurching and excitement flaring through me. “Jimmy is coming here first instead of going there,” I said in a rush. “He just got here. I see him through the window now.”

“Yes, exactly. I would say that is a huge change in plans—”

“Matt, honestly, I didn’t know. Mr. Tom must’ve set this up to surprise me—”

“Do you actually expect me to believe that?”

“I don’t give two shits what you believe. You screwed up by telling him work is more important than him, and this is clearly Jimmy telling you how that makes him feel. This is between you and him. If he wants to come here for a week instead of going there, he’s an adult. That is his decision to make.”

Mr. Tom came around the car and wrestled Jimmy’s bags away from him.

No sound came from the phone, and a quick check verified that Matt had hung up on me this time.

It was just as well. The conversation would only have gone downhill from there.

“I thought you got along with your ex?” Jasper asked, waiting in the hall. He’d clearly been eavesdropping.

“I did. But I guess that was before I developed a spine. We haven’t really seen eye to eye since I moved here.”

“Fair play to ya,” Niamh called, but I was already jogging for the door.

“Mom!” Jimmy’s face had an attempt at a five o’clock shadow, his few whiskers a long way from a full face of hair. His eyes had dark circles under them, but otherwise he was practically thrumming with excitement. “Surprise! Are you happy?”

I tackle-hugged him, squeezing him tightly. The pain from the last couple of months threatened to break free as he stepped back. His eyes shadowed immediately, and he stepped in for another hug.

“Mr. Tom told me about you losing your friend. Sorry, Mom. That’s why I thought you wouldn’t mind if I came here instead of going to Dad’s. And not to throw him under the bus or anything, but Mr. Tom said it would be okay.”

“Of course I don’t mind!” I stepped back and wiped my face, smiling. “You are always welcome, you know that. Maybe a little heads-up would’ve been nice, though, Mr. Tom.” I leaned around Jimmy to give Mr. Tom a hard look. “The Christmas party is going to be tense because Jimmy’s dad is less than thrilled that I didn’t clear this with him, but it’ll be fine.”

“The nature of a surprise means there is no heads-up,” Mr. Tom intoned, not at all apologetic.

“Yeah.” Jimmy headed toward the house. “I figured Dad would be pissed. That’s why I didn’t tell him. But he canceled all the stuff just he and I were going to do together. I’d have been stuck hanging out with Camila all the time, and…” He shrugged. “I figured he wouldn’t really care, since he wasn’t going to be there much anyway.”

“We’ll smooth it over. It’ll be fine. Are you tired? Hungry?”

“Is Austin still—”

The words died on Jimmy’s lips when he saw Tristan waiting just inside the doorway. He stopped dead and then started to back-pedal.

“What’s wrong?” I put a hand on his back to stop him. “That’s Tristan. He’s with us now. He’s a new hire, so to speak. Well…not new new, but new since you’ve been here.”

“Don’t mind him a’tall.” Niamh shouldered the huge gargoyle-monster, something we’d taken to calling him because he wasn’t full gargoyle, out of the way and held out her hands for Jimmy. “He’s only incredibly dangerous to yer enemies. Come in, come in. How about a cuppa? Do ye want a sandwich? Ye do, o’course. Come in and I’ll make something fer ya.”

She turned for the kitchen.

“You do not get to offer your terrible sandwiches in this house,” Mr. Tom called, dropping Jimmy’s bags and hurrying in through the door. “Don’t touch those, Master Jimmy.” He hastily pointed at the bags as he moved through the foyer. “I’ll be back for them promptly. I just need to get that horrible old woman out of my kitchen before she wrecks everything. Don’t you touch my bread,” he yelled, running down the hallway.

Mimi flattened herself against the wall down the way. Mr. Tom’s wing fluttered by her, and then she pushed off again as if an old butler hadn’t just sprinted past in a mad dash for kitchen dominance. She held herself as regally as usual, stopping in front of Jimmy and clasping her hands in front of her.

“Hello,” she said. “I hear you are Jessie’s boy. Well met. I am Naomi, Austin’s Grandma Mimi. Since you are part of our family, you may call me Mimi as well. Given you are a Dick, I will inform you that I am not a hugger.”

“What’d she just call me?” he murmured, hesitantly putting out his hand for a shake.

“Dick—like a non-magical person, remember?” I said.

Mimi looked at his outstretched hand before shaking her head. “No.”

“Okay. Good times.” I rubbed Jimmy’s back. “And yes, this is Tristan.” I motioned to Tristan, who had taken a large step away to give Jimmy some space. “He’s one of us. A very large one of us, but still on the team.”

Tristan put out his hand and stepped forward slowly, trying not to spook Jimmy.

My heart melted and tears came to my eyes. With sudden fear, I quickly patted myself, affirming I was still dressed. My God, when would I stop being so horribly scattered?

I pointed at Tristan. “Do you mind hanging out for a moment while I get Jimmy settled, and then we can talk about the second thing you needed?”

He finished shaking Jimmy’s hand and stepped back. “It’s not urgent. Enjoy your time. I’ll connect with you later in the week, how’s that? And don’t worry about training. We can do it after the holidays.”

“We’ll figure it out.” I nodded at him, removing my hand from behind Jimmy and pointing down the hall. “Head to the kitchen, bud, okay? I’ll grab your bags and meet you there. Tell Mr. Tom to make me whatever he’s making you.”

“Here we go.” Jasper came in holding the bags before motioning upstairs. “His room is down the hall from mine, right? I can just go put these away.”

“Yeah, please, if you wouldn’t mind. Thanks, Jasper.”

Jasper hefted the bags in response and headed up the stairs.

My phone rang again, the name this time coming up as “Camila (Matt).” I stared at it for a moment and then sighed in defeat. I’d been in her shoes. Matt would find a situation impossible to navigate, decide it wasn’t worth his time, and hand it over to me. He had a secretary at work, and one at home.

Ultimately, this situation wasn’t Camila’s fault, and she didn’t need my censure. But man, I wanted to lay into both of them.

I took a deep breath, had a seat, and prepared to rework the holiday plans for the guy who simply could not go with the flow unless the flow directly benefited him.

I had the distinct impression the holidays were going to be a lot tougher this year. At least it would only be Austin and me going home. I wouldn’t have to explain away a bunch of capes.

Chapter 2 – Jessie

“What do you mean you told them they were going?” I demanded of Austin the next morning, standing at the edge of the bathroom as he exited the shower.

I didn’t even care about the rivulets of water running down his glistening, cut body, or the light playing across his handsome features, or the part of him that was standing at attention after seeing me in my birthday suit. We were about to do battle, and those things would only distract me.

“Babe…” Austin grabbed a towel and started drying himself. “It’s not safe for just you and me to go on trips, you know that.”

“Except it is. The word on the street is there’s another superpower mage in town, and she is working alongside shifters. The mage community has given me a wide berth. You’ve seen that yourself—there’ve been no attacks, no threats, no invitations to dinners, even. They are wary and they are giving me space for now. We should be fine.”

I didn’t mention—because Austin already knew—that we didn’t know how long this break would last. We also didn’t know what would happen when it was over.

Momar must want to wipe me off the face of the earth, and all the shifters with me. He’d retaliate at some point. The Mages’ Guild… Well, we didn’t know much about them. We might have some idea if Sebastian and Nessa had been in touch, but they hadn’t, not in all this time. They had sent me an encrypted phone, which had arrived shortly after we returned to Ivy House, but all my texts and voicemails to them had been met with silence.

I still tried, though. I missed them. I often walked through the bowels of Ivy House, looking at Sebastian’s abandoned equipment, changing out various ingredients as they went bad just in case he might show up. I went over to their house and helped Aurora garden, not talking much with her (she was like Mimi and not chatty) but enjoying some time and company in their space. They were part of my life here, and their absence had left a hole. I worried about them getting into trouble and not having my help. Or, God forbid, never seeing them again. It felt like too big of a disturbance after Nathanial’s sacrifice, and even though Sebastian and Nessa had assured me it was necessary, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it would lead to more danger for all of us.

“We’re not bringing everyone,” Austin said, wrapping the towel around his waist and doing nothing to hide the now tented fabric. The guy was insatiable. Normally great, right now distracting. “We’ll only bring a few shifters and a few gargoyles to the parties—”

“Are you out of your mind?” I hollered, and then put up my hand, a signal that I realized my reaction had been out of proportion. I wasn’t very good at handling grief, anxiety about my friends potentially being in danger, or the sense of impending doom that dogged me everywhere I went.

After a deep breath, I tried again, with Austin watching me patiently.

Softer this time, I asked, “Are you out of your mind?”

He started laughing.

“It’s not funny,” I said, unable to help the edges of my lips from twitching upward. “Austin, no. How am I going to explain the gargoyles’ capes? Or the shifters’ unbridled intensity? These are all Dicks and Janes, and none of them know I am magical.”

“They probably all think you’re in a cult.” He took out his toothbrush. “Don’t your parents still think that from the time they were here?”

I put my hand over my face. “Please try to see this from my point of view. My ex is being really uppity, and his mom is just the worst, and I had hoped to dazzle them with my wealth and pretend social status and hot new boyfriend.”

“Life partner.”

“What?”

“I get that we can’t say mate, but the term boyfriend implies temporary status. We’ll use life partner.”

The suggestion would be sweet in any other situation, but he didn’t know what sort of world he was about to step into.

“We can’t use that, because then they’ll talk about you not having proposed,” I said. “They’ll question our whole situation. Do you not have enough money for a ring? Are you not ready for commitment? Maybe I’m your mistress, and you’re trying to keep me around by promising me you’ll leave your wife and marry me. Sound insane? I know, but these are seriously things I have heard them say. I don’t want to be part of that rumor mill. The result is snide remarks and sly grins and things I really would prefer to avoid.”

He finished brushing his teeth and walked up to me with swagger, a handsome smirk on his face. His hands settled low on my hips.

“They won’t question my devotion to you, Jess.” He leaned down slowly and kissed the side of my neck. “Boyfriend, live-in partner, love of my life…” He kissed the other side of my neck, and shivers coated my flesh. “Showing love is about actions more than titles. Touching. Possessive posturing. The women will know, without a shadow of a doubt”—he softly kissed my lips—“that you are my everything. You’re the woman whom I’ve pledged my life to protect, to care for. The men will know”—he slid his hand up my stomach and cupped a breast—“that you belong to me.”

I fell into his kiss greedily before I remembered my point and backed off again.

“Stop that. You’re intentionally trying to distract me.”

He laughed again, sauntering out of the room. He was confident and eager to prove his claim in front of my family and the people from my past. I was eager for the same thing, as long as everything went well. Bringing any part of my crew would ensure nothing would go well.

“Please, Austin, I don’t want to be the talk of the town this time. Negatively, I mean. I’ve always been the one who doesn’t fit in. The one who doesn’t belong. This time…I just want to shut them up.”

“You will, baby. I promise.”

I followed him into the bedroom. “Okay, but… You must see how showing up at a family gathering with a bodyguard detail is overboard. And if those bodyguards wear capes? Are you kidding me? First, they’ll think I’m faking. Of course they will. I manage a house. Why would I need bodyguards?”

“Because of the cult? Or, like…a cult war?”

“It’s not funny. Then they’ll think I’m unhinged because I believe my bodyguards are actually superheroes.” I shook my head, leaning against the wall. “Please, Austin, no. I’ll be a laughingstock. I’ll consent to having them at the house we’re renting, but that’s it. They have to stay inside at all times. Like prisoners.”

Jeans on, he came up to me again, pulling me into his warm embrace.

“Jess, I’m just messing with you. I am taking this seriously, I promise. We do need to have a detail with us. That is not up for negotiation, but the gargoyles can blend into buildings. They’ll stay out of sight in a way shifters can’t. I checked out the topography of the area. There are enough trees and natural life that the basajaunak can also blend in. So we have them for parties and the shifters can guard the temporary residence. Okay? I’m assuming everything will go smoothly, because we are in a sort of magical bubble, but I want us covered.”

I let my hands hang limply at my sides as he hugged me close.

“I hate you,” I said with a pout.

“You hate losing arguments.”

“That’s what I said.”

He chuckled as a knock sounded at the door. Cyra poked her head in with a plastered-on smile that meant terrible things.

“Hey, Jessie, how are you?” she asked. A doll tottered in behind her with a glass of water. That usually only happened after Cyra had recently died. It took her a while to learn how to control her fire again, and in those weeks and months, she tended to shed lava in the house. Sebastian had created a brooch to magically control that, though. I wondered what was going on.

“Fine. Good,” I said. “Maybe borderline super angry, depending on why you’re here.”

She put out a finger. “Maybe. But hear me out. Edgar mentioned that you really wanted those gnomes gone, right? And I get it. Those little suckers somehow got a hold of a butcher knife and ambushed me the other day. It took three of them to wield the thing, and they hacked at my legs until I fell down.”

“Could you not shift and fly away?”

“That’s what those little bastards wanted. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. But unfortunately, they weren’t trying to sever my neck. They were trying to get my magical brooch, which I was wearing at the time. And…well…they did. They yanked it off and ran.”

“But…why were you wearing it? You haven’t died in…months and months.”

“I died during the battle at Kingsley’s.” She glanced at Austin. “Crap. I forgot I wasn’t supposed to say that. Or was I not supposed to say Aunt Florence nearly died? I forget which one.”

“What?” I asked, my heart lurching painfully again. Aunt Florence was Patty’s sister, Ulric’s aunt, one of the garhettes that helped in the battle.

“Both,” Austin said in a deep voice. “You weren’t supposed to tell her either of those things.”

I rounded on him. “You’re keeping things from me?”

“We all agreed to keep that from you because Cyra can come back from the dead and Aunt Florence didn’t actually die. Indigo left you to heal her, nearly losing you because of it. One of the many times.” His expression was stark, haunted. “It would’ve done no good to tell you, and I didn’t want the reminder. We nearly lost many of our people. That we didn’t lose them all is outstanding news. That you were nearly sacrificed time and again to save them is—”

“Shh,” I said, stepping closer and wrapping him into a hug. “I’m okay. I made it.”

His fingers dug into me for a moment, and the world stopped as he held me. He kept himself together almost all the time. That was part of alpha training, apparently. You learned not to lose control, including when people were killed in battle. You stayed strong for your pack. But it was different with a mate.

In these moments, I felt normal again. I felt like I wasn’t alone in processing the terror of life’s fragility, our loss, and how close I’d come to leaving my people and my family. But they always passed too quickly, putting me back on the unfocused, messy, emotional rollercoaster of grief. Still, I’d rather stay here than swing over to the opposite side and steep in cold, calculated vengeance. I felt it pulling at me. I felt the need to yank out Momar’s heart with my bare hands. I felt the violent darkness within me like never before, devoid of humanity. Devoid of emotion. Devoid of anything familiar.

For that reason, I wouldn’t hide from my grief. I wouldn’t try to escape it. I didn’t want to find out what I would become if I did.

When he’d regained his balance, Austin nodded and excused himself to the bathroom.

“I was a hero, by the way,” Cyra continued. “In case you didn’t assume.” She shrugged, and I couldn’t help a half-hysterical chuckle.

“How many did you save?” I asked her, trying to keep from tears.

“Ten. Maybe twelve? Well…” She adjusted her fake glasses. “Maybe I didn’t save them, per se. I took out half the mages who’d joined forces to send rapid-fire spells at our people. There were just four mages left after I got done with them, but Jessie…” She leveled me with a look, and I saw something spark in her eyes. Something that made me somewhat uncomfortable, although I couldn’t discern why. “They were more intense than you and Sebastian together. And they weren’t cowards.”

I reached out to grab the post of the bed, my eyebrows pinched together. “They were working together like Sebastian and me?”

“No. They were working together like one entity. Better than Sebastian and you.”

A flare of fire dripped from her and singed the rug. The doll threw water at it quickly, accidentally dropping the glass. It thudded against the floor, thankfully didn’t break, and rolled away a little.

“I caught their combined blast,” she continued. “It killed me almost instantly. That’s not an easy feat. Hollace was above, moving into position. Niamh was there, too. Hollace let down his lightning, and then Niamh swooped in. She speared one of the twins—oh, yeah, I forgot to add that two of them were twins. The kind that look alike. Anyway, Hollace killed the two non-twins. But there was some sort of blast or explosion—I don’t know, I was dead—and the twins got away. One of them had a hole in her side. Hopefully she bled out.” She crossed her fingers. “But they were gone in a moment.”

Two things pulled at the gargoyle part of me, lighting up my intuition.

“Twins,” I said, leaning harder into the post as I considered the first thought that had grabbed at me. “Twins.”

Who would work together better than twins? They’d be accustomed to sharing everything. A strong magical worker…doubled, the sum worth more than its parts. Then, using their affinity for working together, they could bring others into their fold. People without huge egos and a me, me, me attitude. I’d fall into that mold, no problem, because I liked the unity of working with others. Clearly there was strength in that.

It was a good strategy.

The bad news? They were working for Momar.

“I need to find some mage friends,” I murmured to myself. If Momar could orchestrate a magical collective, I could do it better. I knew I could. Probably.

I’d just need to scour the books in Ivy House for more information. If only Sebastian were here to help.

The next issue slithered into my brain.

…they were gone in a moment…

Like how they’d shown up in that territory out of nowhere, without any clear point of entry. We still didn’t know how they’d gotten there. There had been no signs of helicopters. No sounds of automobiles. No strings of cars going through the surrounding towns. Their appearance was a mystery, even after the fact.

That hadn’t sat well with Sebastian. I had a feeling that was why he’d left—to find out how the mages had done it. He and Nessa had dark ways of accruing information, and they wouldn’t want to drag me down with them.

Niamh and Tristan were working on finding them. On tracking them. I had no idea how, but I knew they had a knack for that kind of work. All I could do was wait and hope our friends were okay. No news was definitely good news, because we’d hear in an instant if Elliot Graves and the Captain had been captured.

“Sorry…why are you here again?” I asked Cyra, my mind whirling.

“As I might’ve said—we’ve gotten off track and I can’t remember—Edgar expressed an interest in getting rid of the gnomes. Given I’m now holding a grudge, I firebombed one of their larger nests. The basajaunak were not impressed. They’re trying to put out the fire, but—”

“Wait.” I held up my hand, realization dawning, and rushed toward the window.

Out in the back third of the wood, billows of smoke rose into the sky.

“I think it’s spreading,” Cyra said, joining me. “We—well you, I guess, since it’s your territory or land or whatever—could use some elemental magic to stop it. Because, strangely, I don’t know that fire kills those things. What even are they? They aren’t plastic like the dolls. I can melt the faces and limbs off the dolls.”

Two dolls, who’d been lingering in the doorway with glasses of water, suddenly backed slowly out of the door.

“You couldn’t have started with this immediately?” I yelled, and this time I didn’t hold up my hand for going overboard. In fact, I wanted to try again, louder.

I reached down to rip off my clothes, but I didn’t have any on. I’d been naked this whole time.

“Do you need me?” Austin asked, emerging from the bathroom, still dressed in only his jeans.

“Not unless you know elemental magic.” I sprinted out of the room, running full speed into Mr. Tom’s back.

“Miss! Now, you don’t want to end up like your father. Put on some clothes!”

“The wood is on fire,” I said, shoving him out of the way.

“Well, then use the secret passageways!” he called after me. “You’ll traumatize Master Jimmy.”

I hadn’t been thinking. Going through the passageways was the faster option anyway.

Reaching the nearest entrance, I quickly got inside and ran along until I hit the stairs. Up a little higher, and I emerged onto a type of shelf on the roof of the house. I heard sirens in the distance.

“It’s under control,” Ivy House said as I shifted into my gargoyle form.

“What are you talking about?”

“You think I’d survive this long without being able to control the elements on my land?”

I jumped off, flapping into the air. “You’re not doing much to stop the fire.”

“As I said, it’s under control. I’m just allowing it to burn that nest the phoenix was talking about. The gnomes are getting a little out of hand. That vampire is too preoccupied with his flowers.”

“What…”

I kept flying, suddenly feeling the flame. It was hot in an unnatural way, sucking the life out of that area. I hadn’t thought to set my inner alarms for fire or natural phenomena. I hadn’t known it was possible until this moment, quite frankly.

“Do you ever think that maybe your heirs die because you set them up for failure? Why didn’t you give me this information sooner so that I could protect this place and myself rather than letting it burn? Physically and figuratively.”

“That thought recently crossed my mind.”

“It just crossed your mind?”

“Well? No one has ever called me out like you do. The other heirs were too busy living the good life and loving bad men.”

They’d been too busy being young, was what she meant. They clearly hadn’t been jaded enough going into all this.

The sound of wings caught my attention. I glanced back, seeing Tristan rushing toward me in his gargoyle form. He’d been incredibly protective since the battle at Kingsley’s. He’d taken damage but hadn’t allowed Indigo to heal him, wanting her sole attention on me. He’d saved my life. Which was another reason I couldn’t care less about his secret origins. Whatever was discovered about him, it couldn’t alter my opinion of his loyalty and good heart.

Nearing the smoke, I saw and felt the basajaunak below, running with water. Before I could use my magic to pull the heat from the flame, Ivy House did it for me. She sucked the fire from the land, pulling it back into the ground.

I flew around the smoke as it quickly shifted from a lighter gray to white, trying to see down through the lush branches and leaves.

Only a small portion of the area had been burned. It was probably the area Cyra had sent a jet of fire into. The damage was contained to the ground or the base of the trees.

“How do you do that?” I asked, mystified.

“Magic,” Ivy House responded.

“Are you worried I’m going to learn how and then burn you down?”

“Now I am, yes.”

I landed near the toasted area and shifted, shielding myself from the lingering heat. Dave the basajaun met me immediately.

“I do not want to throw anyone under the rat,” he said, and I shook off the mixed analogy, “but someone lost her temper and caused this. She went to get help as we ran to get water.”

“It’s okay.” I touched his arm.

“Oh yes, the needed hug. Here.” He bent toward me suddenly, more of a lunge, really, and it took everything in my power not to zap him with a nasty spell. He enveloped me in a hug, and his hair tickled my face and stuck into my partially opened mouth.

“Thank—pfft. Thank you—pfft. I’m good.” I sneezed and rubbed my nose, trying to dislodge the hair. “Apparently Ivy House can suck the heat from flame. I found out about thirty seconds ago. So I guess we don’t have to worry about fire on the property?”

“I did sense some very old growth,” said Her, the young basandere working on the essence of the wood, trying to make it feel more inviting and homelike. “I do recommend a controlled burn through here to get rid of all the small things. But this magical wood is fantastic. I am glad we have made this connection with you.”

More basajaunak materialized around us, probably over three dozen. I’d felt presences but hadn’t counted everyone up. It was kind of a moot point with these creatures. If they weren’t visible to you, they didn’t want to talk. There was no better hint to get lost than that.

“Ivy House let it rage for a few minutes because it was trying to trim down the gnome nest,” I informed them. I edged toward the charred area.

“Oops.” Her put an arm out in front of me. “Here.” She then side-hugged me, cracking something and popping something else.

“I really am okay,” I wheezed. “But the gnomes stole Cyra’s magical brooch, and she is dripping fire all over the floor. It’s best for everyone if we find it.”

“Oh…” another basandere said, leaning forward and putting a hand above her eyes to block the nonexistent sun. It was caught in the canopy above. “I saw a gnome fighting another for a shiny thing earlier. There’s no telling where it might be. We can look.”

“Wait until it’s safe, obviously, but if you all wouldn’t mind…” I let my words trail away, looking at all the shrubs and char and leaves and… They’d never find it. That brooch was small, and the smoke and fire would cover the shine.

After accepting another dozen or so hugs, remembering to close my mouth those times, I finally wandered away, readying to head back.

“Jessie, a word?” Tristan waited close by in his human form, leaning against a tree.

“Yeah, what’s up?” I asked, trying to feel the land in this new way I was privy to.

His eyes barely glowed as he studied me. “I’d like to talk openly with you, and I want you to know that I’m here if you need to cry.”

I sagged. “Well…at least you’re not hairy, I guess. And have hopefully showered.”

He shook his head in confusion.

“The hair—” I pointed back the way I’d come. “Never mind. It’s fine. What’s up?”

“Nathanial had a sixth sense where it concerned you. He could anticipate you better than anyone aside from Alpha Steele. Maybe even better than Alpha Steele when in the sky.”

“Yeah,” I said darkly. “And look where that got him.”

“A hero’s death.”

I lifted my eyebrows, not having expected that answer. I definitely hadn’t expected to hear the raw longing within it.

“Without him, we are weaker in battle,” Tristan went on, stating fact as he knew it. “You are our most prized weapon. In order to best utilize you, we have to help you overcome or conceal your weaknesses. He could do that. No one else can. We’re weaker without him.”

“Maybe I do need a hug,” I murmured. “But the thing is, I can’t allow you to hug me right now. Not while being naked and…you know. Being you. I might need to go get Dave.”

“Being me… Meaning being incredibly dangerous?” he asked with a crease in his brow.

“Yes,” I said sarcastically, “in order to avoid your incredible danger, I’m going to go hug a completely safe and not-at-all-deadly basajaun. Yikes, bud. How do you fit that ego through doorways?”

A crooked smile worked at his lips. “Ah.” He spread his arms and looked down at his body. “I’m incredibly handsome, is that what you mean? Well built, glistening, nice dick—you’re afraid you’ll make your mate jealous?”

“Now you’re just making it awkward.”

He laughed. “You started it. And yes, I do somehow manage to fit this enormous ego through doorways. It just took practice. Listen, Jessie, no one could ever take Nathanial’s place. We can all agree on that. He will be missed and remembered forever. I do think, however, that someone needs to try to assume his role. We can’t have you passed around from person to person. You have to have a proper wingman. After speaking to the others, I would like to request the honor of that position.” He put a hand on his heart. “I’m not asking for admittance into the Ivy House circle. I am simply asking for a job that cannot be left vacant. I’d like to shadow you and try to better understand your movements and motivations. I’d like to include you in more of our trainings so I can learn what it is like to lead a team while half carrying, half throwing someone around.” He smiled briefly, but his eyes were sad. “I’d like to know your battle strategies well enough to anticipate when you plan to sacrifice yourself so that I can take your place.”

I shook my head, turning away. “If you knew me better, you would’ve never uttered that last bit, because that’s a hard no.”

“If I had understood you better, I would’ve been the one flying you,” Tristan said urgently, stepping forward. “I could’ve lasted longer. Protected you better. Not because of size and strength, but because of my ability to repel magic. I would’ve lived longer than Nathanial. Maybe I would’ve lived, full stop.”

“And if not, we both would’ve died because no one would’ve been fast enough to get us to Indigo in time to save our lives. You did that.”

He stared at me for a long beat and then deflated. He blinked a couple times, dulling his eyes even more.

It became suddenly clear to me how deeply this had affected him. He blamed himself for what happened, just as we all did. The what ifs were preying on us.

“Dave,” I called, realizing I was crying. I had no idea for how long.

He came jogging through the trees immediately.

“I need a hug. Can you get someone to hug Tristan?” I asked. “We’re too naked to hug each other.”

“But I am almost naked,” Dave said, stopping close to me.

I didn’t know how to explain that his extreme hairiness and small loincloth negated the naked factor. I worried that I’d somehow cause offense, and we’d be in a weird situation where his culture dictated that he should kill me to make it right, but his place on my team meant he really shouldn’t.

So I just said, “The loincloth is…enough.”

The rest of the basajaunak were clearly eavesdropping, because Her burst out of the trees in an instant. I really needed to start paying attention to where my team was located. Although…that seemed like so much hassle.

Tristan tried to wave her away. “No, no, I’m—”

She wrapped him in a tight hug, her hairy bosom in his face, and his hands dropped limply to his sides. His expression—what I could see of it—was one of deadpan annoyance, and for some reason, that was utterly hilarious.

“You should let him have the position,” Dave rumbled as he enveloped me in a hairy hug. “He is dedicated to our team. Whenever another creature spoke ill of our people in Kingsley’s territory, he defended us aggressively. He even defended the vampire, and while I am also loyal to our team…I might have hesitated about the vampire.”

For some reason, his last comment amped my chuckles into guffaws that demanded release. It felt good to laugh, to push away that horrible, dark rage building up within me. I needed to focus on helping people out of Momar’s umbrella of tyranny, not exacting vengeance. There was a difference, and I couldn’t lose sight of that.

So for now, I laughed. I laughed and laughed and made everyone nervous.

Tomorrow I would grant Tristan his wish, I’d hang out with my son, and I’d get ready to meet my annoying ex and his stupid family. I’d enjoy this break I was taking from the magical world and try not to think of what might be around the corner.

Basically, ignorance was bliss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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