Excerpt: A Cage of Crimson

***This excerpt is suitable for adults only.

All readers should be at least 18 years old to read the following excerpt.***

 

 

 

Chapter 1 – Aurelia

“Once upon a time, in a land far away . . .”

Fairy tales. What bullshit.

I’d heard it all in my youth. Handsome princes and thrones made of gold. Dresses and balls and animals that talked.

Sure, why not.

And yeah, maybe I’d believed it as a kid. I’d sit with my mom, reading until the small hours of the morning even though I should’ve been in bed hours before, lulled by her soft tone, held tightly in her arms. I’d dream of one day flying like the dragons. Of leading a hunt with the wolves. She’d said I could be anything, live anywhere. It wouldn’t matter where I started because my prince would find me. He’d save me. He and I would eventually lead the kingdom wearing gemmed crowns and creating a safe space for everyone to co-exist, even those who couldn’t quite feel the magic they were supposed to be blessed with.

Turned out, there were no princes for the magically inept. No friends, either. Most of the time, especially in my youth, there was not even kindness. We were the outcasts. The unwanted. If I wanted to be saved, I’d have to do it myself. There was a freedom in that which I valued, an empowerment to claim my future. Though I will admit . . . it would’ve been nice for a prince to sweep me off my feet.

I inhaled the slightly stale air of the work shed where I spent the majority of my time. Two windows let in the light and a few desks acted as work stations, positioned around the single room space. My fingers moved quickly from years of experience, twisting a particular vine around the Nimfire leaf. After this batch was done, I’d take to my rigged-up contraptions to add pressure and heat, turning the contents into a powerful hallucinogen.

A drug, in other words. The fun kind. The kind that was against the law and would get us all brought in by the royal guards and put to death if anyone should find out we created it.

My life was anything but a fairy tale.

I yanked the vine into a knot. A thorn sliced my calloused finger and little spots of crimson welled up along the cut. The sting of it barely registered.

Another knot, and I dropped that piece into a basin of warm water before picking up another vine.

“You about done?” Razorfang asked. His name was one he’d chosen for himself after taking too much of the particular product I was making. A scratch ran down his cheek and frown lines etched into his ruddy face. The grizzled older man had a slight hunch from many years of tending the village gardens, a necessary element to our operations.

He stopped a few paces away from my workstation, a rickety little desk tucked into a corner with a slight lean to the right. He never dared get too close, which was fine by me. He didn’t bathe as much as he really needed to.

I leaned back a little and reached for my tea perched on the edge of my desk. “Yeah. A dozen more or so. Why? Is it date-night with your mate?”

He swayed toward me a little, his eyes a little too wide, a touch manic.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he demanded, his tone accusatory. “You plottin’ on me, girl? Tryin’ to get me out of here so that you can rig up a trap on my desk?” He stuck out a hammy finger, stained purple. “I know what you’re up to. No dud is going to catch me unawares. I’ve got eyes in the back of my head.” He half-turned to point. “I know all your tricks. Don’t think for one”—he squeezed his eyes shut with the force of the next word—“moment you can catch me with my hands tied!”

I let loose an annoyed breath, re-focusing on my task. Clearly, he’d sampled the product again. He was unreasonable when he was like this, paranoid I’d try to harm or kill him. It wasn’t him who needed eyes in the back of his head, though; it was me. I’d gotten very good at sensing when he was sneaking up on me with a knife or some other sharp object, trying to do the village a “favor” by getting rid of the dud, a slur for a shifter without magic.

“I’m not the one you should be worried about,” I warned. “Granny is in town. You can’t be sampling the product when she’s here. You know that.”

“Let me worry about her. I know what I’m about. You just mind your manners, filthy dud.”

I shook my head as he stared down at me. After a few moments of getting no response, he finally shuffled away.

As a rule, I didn’t create chemically addictive products. My life afforded me very few moral principles, so I stood by those I had carved out. The product could be habit-forming, though, if a person wasn’t careful. Raz wasn’t careful, not in the slightest. He hated his job, he hated his dependency on Granny, our benefactor, and most of all, he hated working with what he correctly suspected was a violent dud.

I didn’t know why he was so concerned. Without access to my animal, I didn’t have a shifter’s enhanced strength and speed. I couldn’t heal quickly. He had the advantage over me in every way. I’d gotten quick with a lot of practice, but that’s about all I had going for me. Well, practice, and honing my sixth sense regarding danger so I could anticipate when he would strike. The guy was delusional in all ways but one: the village definitely wanted the filthy dud gone. They’d all, at one time or another, made that quite clear.

Thank the gods for Granny’s protection. She wasn’t blood—everyone called her that—but she was my fairy godmother. She’d taken me in as a kid when I was on the brink of starvation, chased by dud-hating hordes, having no coin and nowhere to go. She gave me a home, found me this job, created connections with sketchy shadow markets and forced this village to (mostly) leave me be. She was my guardian angel. My divine intervention. I owed her everything.

I dropped the vine-wrapped leaf into the water before stopping for a quick sip of my lukewarm tea. Cup returned, I proceeded to wrap the next vine. Then the next. My mind drifted, conjuring up images that I might try to draw in charcoal. Before I knew it, I stared down at an empty desk with two more slices in my thumb.

I pulled a little jar from the top of my station, by the wall. The few petals within started its slow, mournful throb, glowing a pale, pastel pink. Or maybe ‘mournful’ was just my reaction to having picked the whole flower, thus condemning it to death. I should’ve taken a few petals and memorized the location so I could go back and pick more another time. The flowers were supposed to bloom all through spring and summer.

After unscrewing the jar, I delicately removed one of the petals and paused, holding it in my palm and watching the pretty glow intensify.

“That the Moonfire Lily?” Raz once again approached. He forgot to maintain his distance this time, his head cocked as he stared at the flower.

“Yeah. Pretty, isn’t it?”

He grunted, not tearing his eyes away.

I placed the flower onto a sturdy dish and headed to the hearth with its dainty flame.

“What are you going to—“ Raz cut off with a violent scream.

I jolted, nearly dropping the dish.

“What?!” I looked around in confusion, seeing the simple and well-organized interior of our work shed, save the chaos of his desk. “What’s the matter?”

“No! No, no, no, no!” He rushed toward me. I barely moved the dish in time to avoid his strike, cupping my hand over the petal so that it didn’t flutter to the ground. “You’ll kill the glow! You can’t kill the glow, it’ll destroy the world!”

He screamed again and spun in a circle, his face contorted in anguish and his pupils blown wide. Terror lined every inch of his body as he contemplated the fate of the flower.

“Great heavens, bub, you took too much.” I set the dish down on the nearest table. What a pain. When he got like this, he slowed everything down. 

I held up my hands to show him they were now empty. By rule—another of my few principles—I didn’t make the product too extreme. To get to this level, he’d had to take two or more doses. He was starting to get out of hand.

“Okay, buddy.” I eased toward him slowly. If he wasn’t talked down, I’d have to lock him up. Otherwise, he’d probably turn violent and I wasn’t in the mood. “I apologize. I don’t want to kill the glow. I realize now that it would indeed end the world, yes. I’ve put it down, see?”

He leaned to the right, his head tilted, his eyes definitely manic.

“Let’s just take a breath and think about the emberflies . . .”

He leaned the other way, almost looking at me sideways. Great gods, the product had really gotten on top of him. His journey on this product had taken a sharp left turn and landed him into a field of nightmares. I might not be able to bring him out.

“Let’s drift like the emberflies—“

He balled up his fists and shook them at the heavens, leaning back as he did so. “Who cares about the fucking emberflies! You’re trying to kill the glow!” he shouted, spittle flying. He tilted forward, stumbled, and barreled my way. One big fist swung out as he fell.

I dodged easily. His momentum carried him forward, his legs left behind. He hit the back wall headfirst and then fell to the ground. A moment later he scrambled up, howling like some enraged beast.

No, I would not be able to talk him around. Damn it.

“Good point,” I agreed in a soothing tone, moving fast toward the entrance. “The glow is the most important thing. Let’s focus on that glow. It’s outside. There’s more of the glow outside. Let’s go look at it, okay? I won’t touch it. We’ll just—“

“I know your dirty tricks, you pig-faced monkey man!” He levelled a finger at me. His red face was screwed up in rage. “Your bag is out there, isn’t it? Isn’t it? You have your weapons stored just outside.”

My “weapons” consisted of everyday items, some so dangerous as a nail file. If he got in this state when the pack was inside, he’d empty it on the floor and hold up each item in turn, asking how I planned to kill him with it.

I’d just started leaving the thing outside, because yes, I could probably lodge a nail file in his eye or maybe even reach his kidney, but would I? No. I was only violent if I had no other options—principle number three.

“I don’t have a pack.” I kept my hands high. “See? No pack. I just want to say hi to the moon man. Want to say hi to the moon man with me?”

“I don’t trust you for one second. You’re trying to kill me like all the others. Oh yes, by the gods’ hammer stone, they’ve tried. They’ll never take me alive!“

Fantastic, I thought sarcastically. He’d turned nonsensical. This was when he got the most violent.

Plan B.

“Here’s the glow, here it is,” I said, moving toward the supply closet at the back. “It’s right here.”

He paused in his tirade, his head tilted to the side again, a little drool dribbling out of his mouth.

“Here, here’s the glow.” I motioned him over. “Right here.” I lifted the lid on a wicker basket where the rest of the petals had been stored. Their glow was in its zenith, pale in the room but enough to grab his attention.

“Yes,” he whispered, seeing them and homing in. Louder now. “Yes!”

I acted quickly as he neared. I hooked my foot on his right ankle and grabbed his meaty shoulders. He tripped and I guided his fall toward the supply closet where I kept my contraptions, the transformed apothecary mechanisms. Those on the lower shelves could be fixed by other villagers if he broke them. They’d had practice.

The shove I gave him sent him flailing through the opening. He crashed into a shelf, screaming again. I grabbed the door handle and pulled it shut before he could get his bearings and turn. I latched the door from my side, knowing there was a door at the back of the closet that led outside. It wasn’t locked. All he’d have to do was find it and free himself.

I doubted he’d figure out how for a few hours. He hadn’t in the past.

This was another of my principles: a way out. All products that induced a journey, whether it was good or bad in the moment, had an “off” switch. If a person hunkered down into a small, dark place, the drug’s effects on the brain would greatly recede. The drug would go dormant, in a way. The product didn’t leave the system, but it gave the brain a way to handle things a little better.

This was great for a person in Raz’s situation. Not so great if a person was having a lovely time and was just trying to get cozy. Couldn’t be helped.

Discovering that trick had been an accident, but once I realized its usefulness—to me first, and then to others—I baked the “off” switch into any product that might need it. Like this one.

He howled again, beating at the wood.

“Go to sleep,” I called through the door. “Settle down now and go to sleep. You can’t let Granny see you like this or she’ll punish you something awful.”

“You filthy dud!” he roared. “You dud-whore, locking me in here. You won’t take me alive!”

Sometimes the product made him all kinds of awful. Then again, some people were like this to me stone sober. It was something the magicless just had to get used to, like how the fair of skin dealt with sunburns. It was part of life. There was no sense in letting it get to you.

I took a deep breath, letting the adrenaline from the sudden episode level out before turning back to the Moonfire Lily. After grabbing a large stick from the hearth and ensuring the end had a flame, I took the dish outside and set it on the ground. The moon glowed weakly above, barely a sliver. Stars speckled the vast night sky. When I got home, I might open a bottle of port and sit out for a while, taking it all in. I loved these tranquil early spring nights; the air was still crisp with winter’s chill but held the promise of warmer days to come. Flowers bloomed for the first time since the fall, and it felt like the world was getting a fresh start.

Emberflies hovered and drifted, little glowing insects that looked like fairy dust softly swaying in the air. They weren’t spooked by anyone in our village. They only scattered when strangers or danger came around, which was often one and the same.

It would’ve been better to treat the petal at the full moon, but Granny wouldn’t want to wait. She didn’t have a lot of patience where the product was concerned. There was an increasing demand, and it was my duty to keep up.

A slight breeze rustled the petal. I held it down for a moment until all was calm again. As I hunched over the dish, I applied the flame.

The petal crackled. Its glow intensified, shimmering like the stars. The color changed from pale pink to vibrant magenta and then to blazing red. The fire on the end of the stick grew, a cue to pull it away. The petal continued to burn for a moment, the middle of it pulsing like an ember in a smoldering fire. Its perfume had changed, now verdant and earthy and wild; all things that teased the senses of a wolf on the hunt, or so I’d overheard. After a moment the flame and smell died away, leaving the color and continuing the ember-like soft glow.

I picked it up; the petal felt cool against my skin. The fire never seemed to heat it, just change it.

A strange tickle started between my shoulder blades. A slight pressure fanned out, over my shoulders and then crawling down my spine. It felt like someone was watching me.

Wary, I glanced back at the work shed, wondering if Raz had found his way out and was coming for me. No thrashing of limbs, howls, or stomping— all things he’d be doing if he’d escaped—accompanied the feeling, though. Couldn’t be him.

With the Moonfire Lily petal tucked into my cupped palms, I looked out at the darkness.

Trees stood sentry beyond the field next to the shed, hiding the creek that gurgled within their depths. An old fence with awkwardly leaning posts and a gate in the middle divided the land for no discernible reason. My various tubs were placed in an organized fashion, some against the shed and others out in the night, against the fence. They were set to catch the moonlight or the sunlight, or both. I’d learned those things had an effect on the end product.

I’d learned young to pay attention to my sixth sense, keeping it fresh in my life here. The feeling of being watched grew, as though a predator were focusing hard.

The night lay quiet. Nothing made a sound. The soft breeze hardly worried my hair.

Still, it felt like someone was out there, a foreign density within the shadows. The emberflies didn’t seem troubled, though. They would scatter if a threat was within their midst; I’d seen it happen when Granny brought in a new person for the perimeter patrol.

I tipped my face down. My eyes were no good to me. I couldn’t see in the darkness like those with magic could. Continuing to stare would just alert the possible watcher that I’d sensed their presence. They might then get bold and come closer. There were a few people in this village that would, even with Granny in town, and those were the last people I’d want to do so.

I turned for the work shed. As I crossed the threshold, I heard muttering coming from the supply closet. Clearly Raz was still in there, now calming down. Hopefully he hadn’t broken much.

I set about picking the burnt flower petal apart. That done, I crushed it with a pestle and mortar. Here again the fragrant aromas drifted up, so pleasant. I wanted this smell for my cottage. Maybe to transform it into a perfume. A candle, even . . .

Yeah, right. Granny would never let me waste my time on something like that. Candles didn’t bring in the kind of gold my product did, and if I was in the work shed, I needed to be making sellable products. Those were the rules.

I wondered if I could make candles at home . . .

I poured the crushed petal into a jar to keep it safe, helping the last remnants in with my fingers. Once it was done and lidded, ready for me to work with it tomorrow, I sat back and finished my tea.

“It’s got my leg!” Raz screeched. “Help me, it’s eating my leg!”

“Fuck’s sake,” I murmured. “You took way too much. Way too much.” Then louder. “The beast will sleep when you do! Show it how to sleep!”

I rubbed an itchy nose, scenting the Moonfire Lily again. My fingers smelled a little too much like it, actually, like pollen when all the flowers were in bloom.

My sneeze quieted Raz for some reason. Small miracles.

As I finished my tea and set my cup down, I hauled myself up. Raz was in charge of taking the nightly satchel to Granny when she was in town, a trip she made every few months or so. Given he was not fit to exist outside of that closet, let alone interact with his boss and benefactor, that left me. If it didn’t mean I’d get to see and chat with Granny, I’d have been severely annoyed.

I tidied everything up before stopping by the unused front workstation. It would’ve been nice if we could’ve found someone to occupy this space and help me with the creations, but sadly no one else showed an affinity for the technical aspect of the job. Not even Raz. He was primarily the plant guy. He had a few helpers in the garden and we both had a few runners for supplies, but otherwise the duty to make the product mostly fell to me.

So far, that was fine. I was keeping up, albeit barely. Hopefully orders didn’t continue to increase. I was already working every day, often sun up to sundown. Given I didn’t have family and no one would suffer my friendship, I didn’t mind. It gave me something to do. Besides, I owed Granny everything. I’d reach for the moon if she needed me to. But if orders continued to increase, I knew eventually there just wouldn’t be enough time in the day. At that point, I’d need to bring in some help. I’d have no choice.

A fern-green, velvet sack waited on top of the workstation, tied with a pull-string at the top. I pulled it open and filled it with four new products, two of which I’d adjusted from the original version for a better experience. That brought our total to twenty products, including everything from a sleep aid to a relaxant to the fun-time hallucination creation.

Not all of these were explicitly against the laws of the land. The sleep aid, for example, rivaled something the dragon kingdom sold. Mine worked better. The relaxant? The faerie product couldn’t hold a candle to it, try as they might. Those really could’ve sold in the more medicinal markets. The other stuff? Well, those were the reason Granny sold everything through the shadow markets. Guilt by association, I guess.

It was fine. Even the unlawful stuff wasn’t expressly dangerous or life-threatening. Not like some of the other items in the shadow markets. None of my product’s effects would linger after the drug had worn off . . . except for maybe a questionable life change like Herold becoming “Razorfang.” For the nightmare journeys there was the “way out” I’d devised. I’d told Granny to pass that on to everyone who sold the product, and for them to pass it on to anyone who bought it. My conscience was clear. I didn’t lose any sleep at night over being a criminal. And if I did? Sleep-aid!

“My life is definitely not a fairy tale,” I murmured, picking up the velvet pack.

Under it, a scrap of paper held Raz’s handwritten scrawl: “Don’t veer off the path.”

My brow lowered as I read it again.

My eye started to twitch.

“Very funny, Raz,” I said, not caring if I excited the little beasties in his brain again. “Very fucking funny. It was only the one time, by the way.” A thud sounded against the wall in the closet. “Just the one time and everyone is a funny guy, huh? No one is going to let me forget it. You get stuffed in a closet, for fuck’s sake, and this is the thing everyone remembers?”

“Don’t veer off the path!” he shouted, clearly knowing what I was talking about. Manic laughter followed me toward the door.

One time. Seriously, I’d veered off the trail one time out of the thousand I’d walked it and it was all anyone talked about. There had been a good reason, too! I’d seen the glow of the Moonfire Lily from the path. They were incredibly hard to spot, often hiding between and under other flora, its glow usually contained unless you were right on top of it. If I hadn’t grabbed it then, I might’ve lost it.

Sure, I accidentally fell over a log, doused my lantern, left it, and made a mad dash for the flower. I admit I might’ve lost my head a little. It happens.

And okay, yes, after picking the flower and then standing in pitch black as its throb ebbed, I had gotten a little turned around and then couldn’t find where I’d left the fallen lantern. I shouldn’t have left it behind. That was stupid, I could admit.

But what was I supposed to have done at that point, just stand there all night and hope someone would have come to find me? No. I’d done what any rational person with a terrible sense of direction would do—I’d decided to walk until I found either the village or the perimeter line and our sentries. I had known I’d stumble into one or the other eventually.

It was not my fault that the perimeter patrol thought I was trying to sneak out without an escort. They hadn’t given me a chance to explain what had happened; they’d just tossed me over their shoulder and marched me back to Granny.

It had all worked out in the end, though. Even though leaving without permission hadn’t been my intention, I’d gracefully accepted the punishment: a hardcore beating by Granny’s watchdog, Alexander.

Crisis averted.

Did everyone really need to keep bringing it up? Literally every time I had to take the path to see her in town—every single time—it was mentioned. It had been two months! It was past getting old.

Besides, I’d gotten the flower. Given the enhancements I was already making with it and my ideas for new product, it had been a stroke of genius leaving that path, questionable decision-making along the way not-withstanding.

On a little table by the door stood my faerie-made lantern. I grabbed the handle as I exited. Outside, I tapped the top three times quickly, then two slow, followed by rubbing the base. Lights flickered a metallic blue within the shiny metal before burning brighter and brighter until the whole thing glowed indigo with swirling patches of lighter and darker blues. The effect was as beautiful as it was useful, the lantern a prized gift from Granny.

Despite the situation that led me to traipsing this path so late at night, I felt lighter, content, my heart swelling at the thought of seeing Granny. She wasn’t just my benefactor and savior; she looked out for me, provided protection from the outside world, and ensured I had all I needed. She wasn’t blood, but I thought of her as family—the only family I had left. I took every opportunity available to meet with her when she visited, chatting and soaking in her proximity.

Her cottage was a fifteen minute walk from the work shed. The indigo glow illuminated the wide tree trunks on either side of the path. The trees now crowded me closely and a hush permeated the area as crickets, night birds, and other creatures stilled or quieted within my vicinity. Ancient trees leaned far over me and strangled what little light the moon shed. Branches entwined along the sides as though in an intricate dance. With each step, the forest floor surrendered below my feet, cushioning my passage as though the path itself remembered me. Not surprising given the number of times I’d walked this route.

With the lantern held aloft, I reached the fork. To go left would take me back to the village, on the outskirts of which was my modest home. I veered right toward Granny’s cottage, a solitary dwelling that never got many visitors, as was her choice. I was one of the few. If she had business with someone—a rare occurrence—she went into the village to speak with them directly. Otherwise, she kept the village fed and clothed, ensured their houses were in repair, and saw to everyone’s needs. We wanted for nothing. All we had to do was make certain the product was quality and consistently ready for pick-up.

The path narrowed until it was hardly more than the width of a person. The glow of my lantern struggled within the oppressive darkness, the night pushing back at the light.

I trekked on as the emberflies gradually dwindled, slipping between the trunks and then behind without daring to peek back out at me. Their numbers would dwindle even further the closer I got to Granny’s. They didn’t continue their drifting too far away from the village, it seemed. No one had any idea why.

My soft footfall invaded the pervasive hush as my gaze wandered to the left. It was at about this spot that I’d spied the Moonfire Lily’s glow in the trees. Surprising, given how choked with vegetation and foliage the land was. It had somehow been able to glimmer through the reaching ferns and tangled vines and moss. The books said that for every flower you were able to find, there were five nestled close by, waiting for discovery.

That’s about all the information about the flower the books contained, except for the effects of using its altered, burned petal in brews, elixirs, and potions. It was an enhancement; that’s all the books said. Given the vast quantity of books I’d read about plants and their uses—all acquired from various places by Granny—and the startling lack of information on the Moonfire Lily in comparison, I had a feeling it could do so much more. Figuring out what, though, would require time for experimentation. Time I definitely did not have. Still, the enhancement portion of its powers served me well.

Walking slowly, eyes scanning both sides of the path, I watched for another plant. My focus was so acute that I almost didn’t notice that strange feeling again, like I’d felt at the work shed. Tingles washed over me, as though someone were watching my progress.

My breath halted in my lungs as a warning prickle crawled along my spine. My body froze in fear, steps ceasing. I strained, listening for movement. My knees trembled along with my hand, cold and clammy, holding the lantern up.

The emberflies started to move. A wave washed over the path in front of me, exiting left. Behind, the bugs headed in the same direction, slow at first and then fleeing madly. I’d never seen them move so fast.

Terror gripped my heart. I felt it in every inch of my body. It wasn’t just me; they felt it, too.

Danger!

I spun, starting to jog toward Granny’s house. If there was danger present, she’d handle it. Worst case, she’d know what to do to escape it. Even though she was getting on in years, she was still an alpha wolf. She had thwarted raids in the past, when other packs had invaded her businesses, intent on grabbing anything or anyone of worth. She had experience with these things. She’d know if there was a breach and she’d probably already be working on defenses-turned-attack strategies. I just had to make it to her cottage and I’d be okay.

The lantern’s glow danced wildly on the path, making the shadows lurch and jump. My foot hit a divot and my ankle rolled. I compensated immediately, carrying my weight in that direction and stepping with the other foot to keep my ankle from bending too far. Too late. Tingles replaced what probably should’ve been pain, my tolerance for pain incredibly high. My foot wasn’t accepting much of my weight.

Greatly slowed but not deterred, I limped on. I didn’t care about a sprained ankle. It would heal eventually. Granny had procured the best healing ointments and elixirs gold could buy, all the way from the dragon kingdom. Anything short of a severed leg would be fine, and even that would be preferable to what would happen if a raid captured me. I was the anyone of value they’d be seeking. Granny had taken painstaking efforts to ensure I knew what might happen to me if I was taken. What they’d do to make me cooperate. How they’d treat me when they found out I had no magic.

What I’d be forced to endure if the pack leader was male.

Tears of fear prickled my eyes as I hobble-jogged. That feeling of being watched continued, a constant itch between my shoulder blades. Whatever was there was keeping pace.

I was nearly at the bend, almost there, when the toe on my good leg hit a rock. My momentum kept going, driving me forward. My bad ankle rolled again.

I hit the dirt hard. My lantern clattered against the ground. The light winked out and pitch black washed over me.

“Shit,” I swore softly, patting the ground frantically, searching for it. “Shit, shit.”

The air thickened with an eerie stillness, interrupted only by my erratic breathing. I felt movement off to the side. Felt it, as though a string connected me to a presence in some way. A person.

A predator.

I reached farther, my shaking fingers trailing across the dirt. Wherever the lantern had landed, it was out of reach.

My movements were the only sounds I could hear. I felt it, though, those eyes raking over me. That presence drifting closer. The danger made my heart beat like that of a cornered rabbit.

My primal instincts were fine-tuned to cataloging threats and sensed the presence stopped just beyond the trees. That presence waited, and tingles danced down my spine again. It watched. In indecision? I couldn’t tell. I didn’t know what it wanted, or what it was doing. It had to be human, though. I felt that about it, a specific sort of danger that animals couldn’t duplicate. An intelligent sort of peril. The anticipation of what was about to happen seeped into my bones, making my entire body shudder.

Something else happened, though, too. A strange sort of heat flowered in my chest, like liquid fire dribbling down my middle. Strange currents of scent greeted my nose, too many to really decipher. The thick black of the night lightened minutely, as though pulling back, leaving room for shadows.

And then the presence stepped forward, some sort of decision made.

Adrenaline coursed through me as he neared, because it was a he. I had no idea how I knew, but like knowing his presence was there in the first place, I felt it. Felt him. His movements created nothing more than a whisper in the night, not a sound accentuating his passage. He stopped in front of me, where I knelt in the dirt at his feet. His height loomed over me while the heat of his body slid along my exposed flesh, cocooning me in his warmth. I swam in it, feeling his overwhelming power, his coiled strength.

Fucking hell, this actually felt amazing. Which meant it couldn’t be real. Something had changed. Even though I felt the predator, the danger, I no longer felt threatened by it. I wanted it nearer, actually. I wanted to pull it toward me.

What was happening? Had I somehow accidentally sampled my own product? Because if he’d slipped by Granny’s defenses, he’d either grab the product or grab me. He wouldn’t wander around this territory so lackadaisically, with no fear of being discovered.

 “Look at me,” a deep, gruff voice commanded, and the effect washed over me like a pleasure bath.

His magic wound through me, delicious and exhilarating, like washing in a cool mountain spring on a warm evening, when everything was freshly in bloom. I closed my eyes within it for a moment, taking my time to savor the feeling before I did look up, sightlessly. Obediently.

Moments passed as he looked down upon me. Studied me.

“Beautiful,” he whispered.

His heat settled low now, an ache forming in my core. I almost reached out for reasons I couldn’t quite explain. I wanted to feel him. To run my fingers along his skin. Grasp his straining cock.

What in the holy fuck was happening to me? This couldn’t be any product I’d created, accidentally ingested or not. I didn’t have anything with an effect like this.

Then it occurred to me. The Moonfire Lily! I’d had it on my fingers. I’d been inhaling strong currents of its delicious smell. Maybe I’d ingested it, transferring it to my teacup and sipping it off. Was it causing this strange erotic fever dream? Was I actually on the trail by myself, kneeling in front of nothing, following commands issued by an invisible lover while danger prowled the wood?

Old gods help me, I really fucking hoped so. It was better than the alternative, which was that I was bowing before a predator, desperate to be fucked.

I squinted my eyes shut and lowered my head, willing this all to go away. Willing my mind to eat through the drug and reduce or stop the effects, something I’d learned to do over the years.

“Never bow to me,” came that deep, erotic voice full of power and authority.

Fingers touched the bottom of my chin, applying pressure, tilting my head back up. I didn’t open my eyes this time, as I still fought the effects of what had to be that Moonfire Lily. Quite the saucy little plant, I had to say. Very bad timing for a journey I was not prepared for, though. I would’ve rather traveled the path of this drug in the privacy of my cottage, stripped nude and spread wide, imaging this stranger tracing each curve of my body with his sensuous touch. I had a very good imagination when it came to these things. 

Pressure filled my chest now, like someone was sitting on it. Heat was all around me, all through me. I practically vibrated with it. My pussy was so wet, wanting to be filled so badly.

“Kneel,” the luscious voice commanded.

I was fucking kneeling. That’s what it meant when you were on your knees on a path that hopefully no one else would be traveling tonight.

The presence walked around me and I could just barely hear his footsteps. And that smell—was that him? Warm sandalwood with a dark and forbidden smoky undertone. Hints of jasmine. Of sin. It lingered in my senses, manifesting the desire raging through my body. It put the smell of the Moonfire Lily to absolute shame.

“Please go away,” I murmured, willing this journey to recede. For the drug to withdraw its effects. I liked it, I couldn’t deny that, but now was not the time. I needed to figure out why the emberflies took off. “Go away,” I murmured.

I could end the journey of every single drug I’d made for the last five years. Every one, even those that had locked Raz in paralyzing nightmares until I’d shoved him into the supply closet. This one should be no different, regardless of the fact it seemed to be purely the plant without any sort of additive or alteration.

“Stop this. Go away,” I said again, more firmly, willing it to be so.

The presence stepped up right behind me. Leaned over me, intimidating, exciting . . . dangerous. His mouth neared the shell of my ear, his breath stirring the sensitive nerves on the back of my neck.

“Do you really want that?” His voice was low and silky, eliciting a delicious concoction of warning and desire. “Or should I stay long enough to give you the satisfaction you crave?”

It somehow felt so much more intense that he wasn’t touching me; his words, his scent, his breath caressing me in ways I couldn’t seem to fight. I tried valiantly, but he was more intoxicating than any manufactured drug, and possibly just as potent.

Go away.

He straightened, as though hearing the words I couldn’t seem to utter.

Fuck off.

He stepped back, giving me space. A chill accosted me, leaving me feeling bereft without his proximity. There he stood patiently, waiting.

I clenched my fists, squeezed my eyes shut, and willed my mouth to give the command.

Unfortunately, my body was calling the shots.

“Fuck me,” I whispered.

 

Chapter 2 – Aurelia

An urgency I’d never experienced before overwhelmed me. On my knees, on the ground, I tried to rub my thighs together to alleviate the mounting pressure of my craving for this man. My body shook from suppressed need, my lack of control in this situation sending adrenaline and arousal spreading over my nerve endings. My peaked breasts, raw and sensitive, rubbed against the thin fabric of my clothing. My jaw clenched as sweat beaded along my forehead.

I needed his touch, desperately. His hard cock pumping inside me. His teeth scraping against my shoulder, ready to bite down.

I internally struggled with the thoughts running through my mind. This wasn’t just a light fantasy; it felt devastating. I couldn’t seem to step out from underneath this drug. This delicious euphoria consumed me, refusing to let me escape with my usual tricks. If I kept pushing back on it, my journey would take a sharp turn. I’d end up like Raz, except I’d be out in the open, undoubtedly leaving the path and wandering the forest. I could not allow that to happen. The punishment this time would cripple me.

Was there even any danger? The feeling of being watched earlier had occured when I was working that Moonfire Lily. It had felt the same as a moment ago. Had I imagined the emberflies scattering? Was any of this real?

Thinking logically . . . there was no way a man could’ve slipped through Granny’s incredibly tight security and then decided to leisurely entertain a woman on a dark path, waiting for her consent to do so. That seemed very far-fetched.

Not so far-fetched was succumbing to one of my products, railing against it, wandering the wood, and getting punished to within an inch of my life. I’d been warned when I’d left the path before. I was not in a hurry to do it again, emberflies, predators, and strangers be damned.

Taking a deep breath—and in disbelief I was making this decision—I sank into this feeling. These were the hazards of my trade. I let go of any reservations and gave in to it totally.

Someone’s voice echoed in the silence, far away. I couldn’t make out the words. Strange desires seeped into me, wild thoughts of the stranger mounting me like some ravaged beast. Oh gods, I wanted him to rut wildly. To dominate me. To claim me. My wetness soaked through my clothes. I didn’t even know what he looked like. The darkness shrouded his appearance. He could obviously see me, though. There was something provocative in the realization that he could detail everything about me . . . and I didn’t even know the color of his eyes.

The stranger’s knuckles trailed down my hair, the gentle caress so at odds with the wild, untamed beast I sensed within him. It was only when those same long fingers speared into my tresses, using the loose strands like a leash to gently push me forward, that I moaned. My palms hit the dirt. I may not have been bowing down to him, but I was an offering, bent over in supplication, on hands and knees.

“That’s right,” he growled, leaning over me from behind, his hand touching down on my ass. It spanned a whole cheek. A vibration ran through my body, the feeling so fucking delicious.

His hand trailed to the other cheek and then to my center. His fingers ran down my cloth-covered core, his middle finger tracing the seam of my trousers. My breathing turned heavy as the tip of his middle finger found the right spot and rubbed.

My eyelids fluttered and I dropped my head, gyrating my hips slowly. Holy fuck, he knew exactly where and how firm to touch, exactly how fast to go. The guy was good with his hands.

This had to be a product of my imagination. No one I’d ever met could seem to get it right, even with instruction.

“More,” I groaned, balancing on one hand so that I could hook the thumb of the other in the waistline of my trousers. I peeled the fabric down to my hip.

The stranger’s hand paused for a moment, indecisive, and then he stepped closer in a rush as though he couldn’t help himself. His foot scraped against the ground. He grabbed my trousers with two hands and yanked them down.

The night air washed over my bared skin. His palms slid down my outer thighs. One of his knees hit the dirt behind me. Then the other. Soft lips glanced across my flesh, his kisses gentle, his grip on my legs hard.

His mouth didn’t waste time like his hands had. His tongue parted my core, tasting immediately, sending me down to brace my weight on my forearms. His growl of pleasure nearly undid me. He licked up to my asshole and circled, the sensation tickling a little yet strangely pleasureful. He backed off for a moment and I could hear movement behind me, the air disturbed, before feeling his hands grip my hips from below and lifting.

I gasped, walking myself back with my hands as he pulled my hips. My knees hit the dirt again, my shins resting against big shoulders, and I realized I was now straddling his face. He pulled me down like he was starving for me, taking my clit into his mouth and twirling his tongue around it as he sucked in pulses.

“Holy . . . fuck-ing . . . shit.” My mouth dropped open in a silent scream.

His fingers rubbed along my wet pussy, his growl deep and low at my obvious arousal, before delving in. They curved exactly right, rubbing firmly. He sucked in perfect synchronicity.

“Holy . . .” My hips jerked of their own accord. “Holy . . .” I had zero control of my body right now. Drug or no drug, I would not have climbed off this ride for my life. “Holy—“

I couldn’t catch my breath. I couldn’t get my bearings. Pleasure coursed through me in a growing swell. I clawed at the ground, overcome. No one had ever been this good. Ever. We had clearly entered my wildest dreams.

I was going to find more Moonfire Lily if it killed me.

“Almost . . .” I was right on the edge, tensing up now, riding his face with abandon. If I suffocated him . . . Well, he will have died of noble causes.

His teeth scraped my sensitive flesh and I blasted apart, swearing, yelling, shuddering against him. My mind went completely blank and all I knew was pleasure, taking me to a place I hadn’t yet been.

As it settled, I drooped over him, my body tingling. He kept going lightly, his ministrations languid now, his tongue moving slowly. When he was sure I was thoroughly over my climax, he gently lifted me again so he could crawl out from under me. I didn’t bother moving, still focused on the pleasant aftershocks making me shiver.

His hand gripped my shoulder and he tugged gently to get me to straighten up before his touch and his body heat disappeared from behind me. My trousers were still secured around my knees, restraining my movement. The cool air kissed my wet core, a sharp reminder that I was bared to the night.

He circled to my front and I let my eyes drift open, finding three things that startled me. One was that the emberflies had returned to drift slowly around us, like our own personal sea of stars. The second was that the blackness had receded just enough that I could make out shapes. There was no more moonlight seeping through the dense canopy than before, no other lights to help; it was that I could just barely see in the darkness. And what I saw was number three.

The stranger stood before me, tall and broad, with wide shoulders and a distinctly V-shaped frame. Bumpy arms and bulging legs indicated well cut muscles, and his strong stance and aura of confidence more than hinted at his power and authority. I half wanted to see more detail, to see the plane of his face and ascertain the look in his eyes. Another part of me, though, found it strangely more arousing with the blank canvas. With the mystery surrounding this man.

He moved, bending a bit, a hand coming slowly toward my face. His thumb and forefinger gripped my chin. He pulled just so, opening my mouth. His hand left my chin and slid along my cheek to the side of my head. He pushed his hips forward until soft flesh butted up against my lips.

My stomach swirled with the uncontrollable need to taste him. To drink him in and swallow him down, to savor the feel of his flesh in my hands. I wanted to make him as mindless and sated as he’d made me.

I licked, finding the little slit and tracing it with my tongue. I braced my hands on his thighs before feeling upwards, tracking the large mass of muscle. I circled his tip with my tongue as one hand found his balls, cupping firmly. He’d clearly stepped onto the path in the nude. I sucked him in, taking him as far as I could and then backing off, gripping his shaft with my free hand and stroking as though my hand were an extension of my mouth.

Liquid danced across my tongue, and though it must’ve been precum, it in no way tasted like it. Instead of being tart and mostly horrible, this tasted sweet, like candy with notes of the sticky buns Granny made when she was in a particularly good mood. It was delicious.

There could be no more doubt. This was definitely a drug-induced erotic hallucination. And unless there was a particularly horrible come-down, it was going to bring in lots of gold when I figured out exactly what had caused it.

I sucked harder, wanting more of that flavor, taking more of him than I usually would. I massaged his balls as I pulled back. I swirled my tongue around his tip before sucking him in again, feeling his hand fist in my hair. He pulled me away.

My mewl of displeasure was heartfelt for the first time in my life. I usually hated giving head—a chore I did only because I wanted it in return—but this time I had a need to keep going. I wanted his sweet release on my tongue, his knees weakening as a result of my efforts. I wanted to please him.

The strong fingers of his other hand wrapped around the base of my jaw, massaging. He pulled me forward and his cock was back, pushing in deep, hitting the back of my mouth. I just barely kept from gagging as his fingers applied pressure, wanting me to relax just there. To release the tension.

I did as he wished and was rewarded with him pushing in deeper. Receding and then deeper still, down into my throat. Faster now, fucking my face.

This should be highly uncomfortable. Much worse than the pump-suck action I usually employed. But gods help me, I fucking loved it. I wanted more of him. All of him.

His tip dripped and I swallowed greedily, holding onto his thighs as he yanked my hair with each thrust. My eyes watered and I looked up at his face, knowing somehow that he’d get off on it. Not questioning why. Deeper and deeper he went until his balls butted up against my chin.

“Good girl,” he growled, so soft.

The rest of my tension drained away, basking in the glow of his praise—which was alarming because usually I got deeply annoyed and often violent if a man talked to me like I was his pet. Like I needed his approval. But this stranger’s tone held none of that. We were on the same team, each of us striving to give the other what they needed. Those words now, like this, said like that . . . It was all kinds of hot.

I hollowed my cheeks with suction, loving those little yanks in my hair. I felt his pleasure like it was my own. And then I felt the base of his cock begin to swell. Clearly he was a shifter, a wolf. They were the only magical beings that could form knots, the bases of their dicks enlarging enough to lock them inside of their mates.

My lips butted up against it as he pummeled my mouth and suddenly I needed it inside of me. I craved to be locked with him in a lover’s dance, feeling him pulse, answering with my pleasure.

I pushed his legs with my hands and pulled back against the tight grip he had on my hair. He relented his hold immediately; something that must’ve given him pause. I would’ve been panicked that the job would go unfinished.

I reached up for him, my hands bumping against his body.

He caught my wrists, beginning to lift me up. I pulled, though, trying to bring him down to my level.

He sank to the ground in front of me, his warm breath dusting my face. I ran my hands across his torso, salivating at the mighty pecs. Up to his shoulders— hulking things, incredibly wide. Around to the back of his neck, pulling him to me.

He leaned in slowly, taking his time. I could feel his gaze on me, roaming my face. Settling on my lips. With him I didn’t need detailed sight. I seemed to be connected to him in a strange way, able to anticipate his movements, feel his whereabouts and intentions.

His lips brushed mine, unhurried. Soft, as though we’d been lovers all our adult lives. As though we were reuniting after a long time away, savoring the moment. Deeper now, his lips nibbling, sucking in my bottom lip. I groaned with his taste, drew him closer, nearly crawling up onto him to get closer still.

Our kiss turned urgent. His tongue delved and his hands gripped my butt, lifting me with ease. But my legs were trapped in my trousers. I couldn’t wrap them around his hips.

He spun me so I landed with hands and knees positioned on the dirt. He moved in behind me, slow like a predator, readying to take what was his.

Shivers washed across my body, feeling that heat. More warmth leaked through my chest.

A hot, rough hand grabbed my right hip. My breath sped up. Another hand, at my left hip. His fingers kneaded a little as a knee hit the inside of mine, wanting my legs wider. I complied, the anticipation killing me.

One of his hands disappeared only to have the head of his cock slide up my wet center. His growl sounded possessive as he pressed in, getting him all slick. The blunt tip paused at my opening.

My eyes fluttered closed as my head dropped. It felt like all my nerve endings were sparkling, alive for the first time in my life.

His hand slapped back down on my hip and he thrust.

Lights danced behind my eyes. A searing ache erupted in my core. He was big. Larger than I’d ever experienced, stretching me until I whined, panting with the effort of not wiggling away.

He held himself there. “Relax, baby,” he whispered, leaning over me, his chest to my back.

I did as he said, trying to give in to that ache. To release my tension.

“That’s my girl,” he murmured, his voice deep and intoxicating. One hand snaked around my body and his fingers touched down on my clit, massaging. “Get used to me. Relax.”

I relaxed further, working on steady breaths.

He started moving, his fingers working, drawing out slowly and pushing back in. The pain receded quickly until all that was left was a slow build of pleasure. I pushed back against his thrusts, feeling that knot against my opening. He lifted my body a little as he leaned, his front still to my back. He thrust faster, hitting me a little deeper. His knot pushed against me, wanting admittance but he held back. His lips pressed against the skin of my shoulder, his teeth just beyond.

I shivered violently, holding my breath. I knew what he was contemplating—to dig his teeth into the place where my neck met my shoulder and apply a special kind of magic. A claiming kind of magic, ruining me for any shifter not strong enough to override his claim with their own.

My body started to shake, knowing I should pull away. I needed to shrug him off. But I couldn’t seem to manage it, instead leaning harder, moaning with the onslaught, wanting his mark. Wanting his knot. His seed.

His movements turned frantic to match my own. His finger rubbed against me. His teeth scraped.

An orgasm tore me to pieces, making me scream out my pleasure. He yanked out of me a moment later, his breathing labored, his grunt of release meaning he hadn’t come inside of me. The pleasure was so intense I wilted down to the dirt as I continued to spasm with aftershocks.

Rough hands grabbed me and pulled me back, crushing my back to his front. His lips brushed my ear, his voice deep and firm.

“Run. Leave this place. It’s not safe for you here. Get out now, tonight. Don’t look back. Find your way to another village and disappear. This is the only warning you’ll get.”

And then he was gone, peeling his body from mine and drifting out into the night like a phantom, leaving me breathless, bare and disoriented.

 

Chapter 3 – Weston

Fuck!

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

What the fuck did I just do?

“You know what you just did,” my wolf said, pushed up near the surface.

I shook my head to block out the words as I hurried away from the path. When I was far enough, I stepped behind a tree, my back scratched by the rough bark. My body still shook with that sweet release. Everything about what just happened was incredibly intoxicating; her smell lingered on my flesh, her touch.

Fuck!

Why now? Why here? Why her?

She was the enemy. A monster, making products that tore families apart, whether because of addiction or death or poverty. She was trash. Worse than trash, she was a creature to eradicate. That’s exactly why I was here. To take her back to the dragon royalty to face her punishment, which would almost certainly be death. No one could wreak the sort of havoc she had and live to tell the tale. Not from the dragons.

I closed my eyes, breathing deeply.

I’d completely lost my head. My control had fled the very moment I’d caught her scent. My will had frayed the second I saw her beautiful face, looking sightlessly up at me. Long black hair framed her oval visage with high arching brows and exquisite hazel eyes, like a burst of sunshine between dense black lashes. Her lithe little body strained for me, her entire person eager to please. The feel of her skin, of her plump, heart-shaped lips as they wrapped around the head of my cock, weakened my knees.

But why?

“You know why,” my wolf sang within me.

“Shut up,” I said out loud, pushing off the trunk and walking fast.

I’d put my team in jeopardy. That was inexcusable. I’d walked onto that trail and fucked the enemy in clear view. If I’d been seen, this territory would’ve known they’d been breached. Their defenses would’ve gone active and my people would’ve been scrambling. We were the best at what we did, but being caught unawares would’ve thrown even us off kilter. I’d been reckless. Stupid. I was a bad excuse for an alpha.

“You acted exactly how an alpha would have,” my wolf argued. “Except you should’ve knotted her and pumped our seed deep inside of her.”

My legs turned to jelly and I staggered, bending to rest my hands on my knees and dropping my head. I was painfully hard again just thinking about doing that. I’d barely stopped myself earlier, preventing myself from pushing deep into her tight little pussy and locking her to me. I’d wanted to. Oh, heavens how I’d wanted to. It had taken all my will to resist.

I’d lost control. That couldn’t be argued. I’d lost control and it could not happen again, regardless of the situation. I had a job to do. A duty I would follow to the end. I owed my allegiance to the dragons. They’d given me a home, a title, a great life, riches, and power. I led a huge faction of that kingdom, and I would not jeopardize their trust in me. I would not.

I had to push past this. I had to ignore her effect on me. It couldn’t change my feelings about what I was doing. It couldn’t make me veer off course.

Gods help me, though, she’d felt so good. Unbelievably good, unlike anyone I’d ever touched. Like a piece of me I hadn’t known I’d been missing. An important part of the whole.

“You know why she felt that way,” my animal pushed. “Like air to a suffocating man.”

Yes I fucking did. In this forgotten, out of the way village I’d found something so incredibly rare, so absolutely precious, it was almost a myth. Very few people ever found theirs. Most people only dreamed of it. I’d known it when I’d seen her outside of that work shed; I’d felt her calling to me even from the distance. I’d been sure of it as I beheld her on the path, unable to keep from stepping out to meet her.

That woman was my true mate.

And she was my enemy. My target.

Fuck!

I blew out a long breath, straightening up slowly.

It didn’t matter. I was stronger than this. I had worked my whole life on developing my iron-clad will. She’d taken me by surprise—fine. Now I knew. Now I could prepare. I could get my head in order. She would not derail me.

“And if she runs like you advised?” my animal asked.

Oh. That.

I grimaced and nearly shouted out my frustration.

I definitely shouldn’t have told her to run. That had been one slip-up of many. She was the one we were sent here to find, there was no doubt.

I’d just been so thoroughly in the moment that my primal sense had kicked in—my need to protect what was mine. Because she was mine. There could be no denying that fact, as shitty as this situation was.

Fuck, why me? Why her? Of all the people in the entire world, why her?

Time to do damage control.

In halting steps, I headed for the little cottage far removed from the village and all its people. Granny, they called the owner. Just a lovely, sweet older lady who baked pies and hooked people on drugs. Killed them, sometimes. Ruined them, other times. If it wasn’t for Finley, the dragon queen, we would’ve lost a great many in our kingdom. Others already had. It was inexcusable, what was coming out of this village. Unconscionable. For anyone to be okay with it . . .

My resolve hardened, remembering who we’d lost.

True mates didn’t matter; she needed to be taken down. It was my duty to see this through, and I would fulfill my task regardless of the obstacles. Maybe I was being punished for past wrongs, maybe I was being challenged by the Gods, but whatever it was, I would not stray again.

“We’ll hunt her down if she runs,” I told my wolf. “Just like we hunted her and Granny to this hidden village. She will not escape me.”

I rolled my shoulders, taking another moment to collect myself. I’d need to shift and connect with my pack. If the woman got to Granny’s cottage and sounded the alarm, we’d need to move in fast.

The only good news was that there didn’t seem to be any of Granny’s people roaming the internal territory. The perimeter had been well fortified. Granny had a very thorough setup, with an alert sentry line and a well-scheduled patrol. They couldn’t be everywhere at once, of course, so Granny had applied faerie spells and potions to the vulnerable areas, blocking admittance. In one space she’d even set up a demon gate requiring a magical key of demon origins to get through. They were the best systems criminal gold could buy.

Too bad for her I had connections to more powerful faeries and demons than she did. There wasn’t a door I couldn’t get through, and when Granny’s people came after us, I’d steal their will and render them immobile. She had no idea the caliber of enemy she’d made, and I wasn’t even talking about the dragons.

I’d been blindsided just now, but soon it would be them who’d get a helluva shock. I’d make sure of it.

“We will not engage with that woman again,” I told my wolf, restless within me. “She is the enemy. She has done terrible things and she must stand in judgment for her sins, as must we all. Do you understand?”

He did the equivalent of pacing. “You won’t be able to ignore her.”

“We can and we must. Promise me before I give you back control.”

He didn’t answer for a moment. In the past, he would’ve outright refused. He would’ve thought that he knew best. It was just such a judgment that had landed us in a demon dungeon, separated from each other for countless years. He’d been absent for the misery and degradation I’d endured in that place, only knowing the devastation and pain second-hand when we’d reconnected and he’d been privy to my memories. I’d thought I’d die there, the demon magic drugging me to accept the abuse. To like it, most times. But the magic did nothing to stop me from retching when I remembered it all the next day. I’d been powerless. Used for pleasure against my will.

Bile rose in the back of my throat and my hands shook as I fought to shove those memories down, locking them away and harnessing the misery to sharpen my resolve.

It had been a sort of drug to make all that possible—demon-made and administered through magic. It hadn’t been my choice, just like the drugs being slipped into people’s drinks and food now weren’t their choice, nor the ones sold to them under false pretenses. Granny had no boundaries. She had no reservations. The faster she could get people hooked, the better. She didn’t care what happened to people along the way.

I’d wasted no time in signing up for this detail. I hated everything these people stood for.

Now, thankfully, my wolf was a bit more cautious. Or maybe I was just that much harder, having grown brittle in that dungeon. Having lost my humor and sometimes my will to keep going.

Knowing my head space, he relented.

“For now,” he said, a good enough compromise. I had no doubt he’d soon see that I was right. This whole place was vile. The things they did were beyond excuse.

I gave up control and my wolf instigated the shift. His four paws touched down onto the ground and he started forward.

We could feel everyone’s location through the pack bond as they scouted the area undetected. Granny’s cottage wasn’t much to look at, just a small dwelling with a curling trail of smoke winding from the chimney. It was nothing like her huge estate near the castle where she made her connections and paid off guards and royals. The village was equally humble, showing none of the extravagance she was known for outside of this rural place. She clearly hadn’t distributed the gold these people had helped her accrue.

I worked with my wolf to feed emotions, scents, and various other information through those bonds to the pack while willing them instructions, indicating which direction they needed to go or where they should stop. It was a complex magical system that I naturally excelled at, my alpha magic stronger than any other I’d yet met. It would ensure Granny’s people were rendered ineffective when they realized our presence. It meant she would be snared by me the moment she shifted into her wolf form.

It was why it was so important for me to walk in the light. To stay on the side of steadfast morality. I had the power to enslave people to my will. If I veered or wavered, I had the power to be the biggest tyrant any wolf shifter had ever known, something the royals in this kingdom had once hoped to use to their advantage. Had used, actually, for too many years, by capturing people and tethering them to the crown.

“I would rather never have met her than to meet her and have to give her away,” my wolf whined. “Especially if we have to deliver her directly into danger.”

“She delivered herself into danger,” I said, hardening myself to the idea. I knew well I’d need to do it over and over again. I couldn’t let desire win; for this insatiable need for her to win. 

“Our duty is to protect her.”

“Our duty is to protect our kingdom. She, unfortunately, chose to put our people in danger.”

“She is also incredibly rare. They say most people never meet theirs. Ever. And here she is, stashed away for safe keeping, waiting for us to find her. And we did find her, against all odds. Why would it happen if it wasn’t meant to be?”

“I don’t know,” I said honestly, suddenly incredibly tired. “A cruel joke by the gods? Karma? Take your pick. It seems like this life is bringing us one nightmare after another. Maybe if we can get through this one last trial, we’ll finally find some peace.”

He responded with a sardonic laugh and I appreciated him not sharing whatever comment he thought. Even now, I longed to go back to her. To revel in her beauty and free her of her troubles. To learn about her, detail by detail, patiently studying each curve and savoring each breath.

It was crazy to feel this way about a person I’d never met, but even so, I just wanted to hold her. To lose myself in her. To find an equal I couldn’t control with my will and didn’t have to stay so damn rigid with all the time. My role meant I constantly had to walk a fine line of dominance. I had to constantly prove I was trustworthy, and that I was a good guy. That I wasn’t asserting my will in an unethical manner, even with sexual partners.

It was exhausting.

Occasionally I just wanted to break free. I wanted to exult in my darkness and fuck like the world was burning around me.

But because of my past, I could not waver in my duty. Not even for something as incredibly rare as finding my true mate.

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